Life Goes On

Three weeks have gone by since the article on Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) was published in local papers, and as the saying goes “its yesterday’s news". We all carry on in our everyday life like nothing has happened. But that is how we survive isn't it? But for victims of abuse that isn't so easy!

As I said in my previous post “I’m a Survivor”, victims of sexual abuse get a life sentence. This I feel is a very true statement. But anyone who has had ANY type of trauma in their life will tell you...there is what we call, “trigger moments" that bring it all flooding back. A couple days before and after the article was published were quite intense. I felt really drained by the end of it, but jumped right back up. No point dwelling on the past...future is where I'm heading! 

"I deserve to live a good life, and I begin now. Today begins a new, positive chapter in my life"

The feedback has been positive and I have also received many disclosures. I feel honoured that people have shared their own experiences and entrusted their stories to me. So, thank you.

Since my disclosure, I have found that some people would rather avoid mentioning "it".  Similar to when you lose someone, people cross the street rather than have to face you.  I get why it is uncomfortable for people but not as uncomfortable as those who are victims of abuse. If we don’t talk about it, will it not just continue? Awareness is crucial for change. All I’m saying is acknowledge the fact you know about it. I feel more uncomfortable with no acknowledgement, than I do talking about it!

My sister was concerned for me that people would look at me differently! My response to her was I really don't care! So now it is public knowledge do I feel any different? Not really. I don't think anyone looks at me differently. But if they do, isn't that their issue?

"Part of healing is to accept all the many parts of myself. I refuse to reject any part of myself. I know I am worth loving"

I have come to accept the abuse I experienced...but as I’ve been told by a few individuals, people of “my generation”, or “back in the day” it just happened, all part of life! What a load of crock. What is the difference between a four year old, fifty years ago or a four year old today? Sexual abuse wasn’t acceptable back then and it sure as heck shouldn’t be acceptable now.

We all make our own choices in life, some that are good and some not so good, but never the less our choices. We need to live our life without fear, acceptance and forgiveness. Do I forgive my abusers? Not in the way you would think, but at the end of the day, the energy I use on them is all negative. To survive I need love and positive energy around me. That doesn’t mean I sit back and do nothing. It means I use my experience to help make change and make a positive difference for others. Isn’t that what life is all about anyways?

Writing this blog wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I get really wordy and ramble a lot. I also tend to jump all over the place, that no one knows what I’m talking about anymore. I am also a perfectionist and would be here for hours typing and editing. So, I have decided to just let it flow and see what comes out. All the quotes posted are from the 'I Can Do It' daily calendar by Louise Hay. I thought I would share the quotes with you each day, as I find them very uplifting.

"I choose to let go of old painful thoughts. I only think thoughts that make me happy"

Karen ♥